I don’t know if the owners’ faith was ever tested or if they ever wondered why God would let their house church be destroyed. But I admire them so much for continuing down the road they were already on, even after something wiped it out. They could have easily given up on their church starting passion after their other one was taken, especially if God didn’t want them to see the why. And He often doesn’t want us to know why. It makes us depend on our faith and not reason or what we know. But it can be a struggle to live without knowing the whys. Especially when normality goes awry.
Right now, the tsunami and the devastated church and the rebuild is all a beautiful symbol for what I understand is happening in my life. This is my Japan story so far; it’s my life here.
I’m the home. And sometimes I can be the homeowner.
“Japan: The Experience of a Lifetime” is my tsunami. I have felt torn down and disappointed so often here I consider it normal for circumstances to vary wildly from what I think I want. And that’s ok.
So the house is stuck where it was put and so must endure whatever happens there. Running away is very difficult for a house.
I am in Japan 6,000 miles from people who know me the way I want to be known. And if things happen to go bad here it’s way too difficult to run into safety’s arms. So I can’t run either.
Sometimes I’m the homeowner and I wonder if I should be wondering about my faith. Am I suppose to be shaken right now? Because I’m just not. I’m not worried. I’m ok with being torn up a little because I know I should be more like Him after I grow from it. But I can’t see the end product yet. It’s unknown. I had my life going normally for awhile and it was tracking along its path ok. Then “life storm Japan” happened and I don’t know what I look like anymore. But I should have faith that I’ll be rebuilt and used again for God’s glory, and like the house, have a deeper meaning in that use. I have to be reminded about that last part fairly often.
Tomorrow I have my first real classes of the year. My own students in my classroom and my rules and my Ms. title. And tomorrow will be an easy day. But I am anxious and nervous to see if I’m even half the teacher I hope to be. My first rule for myself is to love my students first and then go from there. God give me love to share like Yours.
Even when it’s hard, God is using the struggle to take away something I don’t need and replace it with something better. In teaching I will definitely struggle, but I am the house that is being rebuilt. I am a work in progress and I can withstand any storm because Christ is my center, the base and foundation, the frame of me. Circumstance nor storm can ruin that.